There's been a lot of talk lately about bullying. In the news, as story lines for TV shows and even in recently released songs. While it's an unpleasant topic, I'm here to tell you, kids can survive bullying and maybe even be stronger for it. I know from personal experience because I'm a mean girl survivor myself.
It's because I was bullied that I learned to think for myself and form my own opinions. With few, if any friends around, I made up my mind about what I liked or didn't like with no outside influences. I also learned to get along with different kinds of people and navigate different social groups since I had no set clique to hang out with. And it's because I was bullied that every one of my dogs has come from a shelter and had some special story or need. It's like I developed an internal radar for when someone or something needed another to be nice to them. I value the friends I have now more than if I'd had friends all my life and always been "part of the group".
Like everything in life, you have the good and the bad combined, and I have to admit that just because I survived, it doesn't mean I'm without a few scars to show for it. When someone's nice to me for no reason, I inevitably wait for the other shoe to drop or try to figure out what they want from me. If someone disappoints me or doesn't meet my expectations, my first impulse is to run or cut them off. When it happens on a personal level, it's about self-preservation and self-protection. I've only recently learned in the last year, and after several years of observation, the value of sticking with someone, working things out and giving them a second chance.
In the end, all things considered, I wouldn't trade or take away my "mean girl" experiences while growing up. They're as much a part of who I am as my hair color (ok, maybe not my hair color) or my eye color. And while some scars are still there, the good I took away from those experiences helps to outweigh, or at least balance out, the bad. Yes, it takes a few or several years to learn from a bullying experience, but it can be done. And in the end, once you learn those lessons, you will be stronger for them. And you will survive.
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