When 9 1/2 Weeks came out I was too young to see the movie, but I could read the book. The current equivalent of the stir 9 1/2 Weeks caused in its day is the popular book series, Fifty Shades of Grey. And while I understand its titillating appeal after reading some excerpts on Amazon, I've made the decision that I won't be reading it. And no one is more surprised by that decision than me.
I don't deny that the Fifty Shades series is quite engaging and a rather steamy, appealing read. And that's just based on the excerpts that I read on Amazon and a couple of other online sources. In the past, I would have been sucked in and read the books for their titillating story and to show how cool and hip I was for reading them, along with other, less noble, reasons. But I've made a conscious decision not to read the books, and for me, my reasons are grounded in Faith.
First, the relationship that is the basis of the series begins as a master/submissive relationship. Anastasia, the lead female character, signs over complete control of her life to Christian, the male lead character. Every decision in her life, from what to wear to what to eat is controlled by Christian. And throughout all the books Anastasia constantly worries about whether or not something she's done or has no control over will upset Christian and incite his anger or disapproval. In essence, Anastasia makes Christian a god in her life, albeit a false god. The last time I checked the Ten Commandments, and despite the double entendre of his name, there's only one God, and his name isn't Christian.
Second, Christian treats Anastasia and the "subs" that come before her as objects for his pleasure. Yes, the relationship between the two lead characters grows to include more aspects to it over time, but there seems to always be a part of it that's about her serving as the object of his pleasure. And it doesn't take a devout Catholic to know that using another person for your own pleasure- sexual or otherwise- is a sin. We're asked to treat each other with a much greater respect and dignity than that.
No one is more shocked or surprised than I am that I've chosen not to read these books. If this was a year ago I would have been all over these books and torn through them like a tween reading the Twilight series for the first time. But I'm not that person now. I don't think or believe the same things about about sex, relationships, modesty or chastity that I did a year ago. So no matter how tempting the books are, and I do understand how tempting they are, I've chosen to live my beliefs and not read them.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
You're Not Alone
Deep inside, the fear that most singles will never admit to openly is the one that tells them they're alone in the world. The one that tells them no one cares, no one will notice if you don't show up and no one will be there when you need help the most. I'm happy to believe and proclaim that those fears are unfounded and none of us, no matter what it feels like, are alone in the world.
Someone I know received some really bad health news this week and needed emergency care. She lives in Dallas on her own and most, if not all, of her family live a few hours away. The very situation that makes so many of us feel like we're alone in the world. As I watched her story unfold this week one thing was truly inspiring and comforting. Watching her friends come to the aid of her and her family and seeing how many people were concerned about her and ready to offer their support.
At Mass last night, the homilist talked about the message of "be not afraid" that shows up again and again in the Bible. In light of this week's news, it was a message we all needed to hear. Not just for our friend, but for ourselves too. As I've seen this week, all those fears of being single and forgotten when we need help the most are unfounded. We're not alone in the world. And we need to remember to see that everyday, in good times and in bad.
Someone I know received some really bad health news this week and needed emergency care. She lives in Dallas on her own and most, if not all, of her family live a few hours away. The very situation that makes so many of us feel like we're alone in the world. As I watched her story unfold this week one thing was truly inspiring and comforting. Watching her friends come to the aid of her and her family and seeing how many people were concerned about her and ready to offer their support.
At Mass last night, the homilist talked about the message of "be not afraid" that shows up again and again in the Bible. In light of this week's news, it was a message we all needed to hear. Not just for our friend, but for ourselves too. As I've seen this week, all those fears of being single and forgotten when we need help the most are unfounded. We're not alone in the world. And we need to remember to see that everyday, in good times and in bad.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Sometimes, You Can Go Home Again
Three years ago, the "Catholics Come Home" campaign was started to encourage lapsed Catholics to return to the Church. There are as many reasons for someone to leave or lapse in their faith as there are reasons to come back. This is my story.
In my late 20's and early 30's I quit going to Mass regularly for about four or five years. I had done something very wrong and when I went to confession for it immediately, the priest I went to yelled at me. I'm not exaggerating. He scared the daylights out of me and made me feel even worse about what I had done. From that point on I quit going to Mass regularly because I didn't think I deserved God's grace, forgiveness or love. I didn't think that I deserved to be at Mass at all. Sure, I'd show up at Christmas or Easter, but that was it. Surprisingly, it took an event that caused many people to leave the Church to get me to come back.
I came back to the Church when the Diocese of Dallas was sued in 1998. I knew someone connected to the suit and their involvement raised some questions for me. After much thought, I made a decision to come back to the Church and support the Church during this difficult time. My ultimate reason was this- we ask the Church to be there for us in our time of need so many times; in turn we should be there for the Church in her time of need. That's what people who love each other do. So I came back.
It wasn't an immediate, overnight coming home. I started going to Mass more frequently and after a couple of years I was attending Mass regularly. I slowly became more active in my parish and in turn, my faith life grew too. I also went to confession again- the first time in 12 years- to confess the same thing that had led me to leave the Church before. This time I had a much different experience (thank you Fr. Alphonse) and for the first time felt truly forgiven for what I had done.
I can honestly say that if I had to go back and do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing. To change any part would be to change the path of Faith that I am on and that's just not right. Before all this, I was a good Catholic, but it was merely lip service or rote for me. I did it because I didn't know another way. The path that I'm on now is different because this time I've chosen to be on this path and make it part of my life instead of just going through the motions. I'm not saying it's an easy path. There's as much struggle, slip-ups, questioning and silent moments as there is joy, peace, grace and devotion.
In the end, I've learned that no path is straight or perfect and that every path, no matter how many twists and turns we take on it, has the possibility to lead us home again.
For those of you interested in coming home to the Catholic Church, here's a good place to start.
In my late 20's and early 30's I quit going to Mass regularly for about four or five years. I had done something very wrong and when I went to confession for it immediately, the priest I went to yelled at me. I'm not exaggerating. He scared the daylights out of me and made me feel even worse about what I had done. From that point on I quit going to Mass regularly because I didn't think I deserved God's grace, forgiveness or love. I didn't think that I deserved to be at Mass at all. Sure, I'd show up at Christmas or Easter, but that was it. Surprisingly, it took an event that caused many people to leave the Church to get me to come back.
I came back to the Church when the Diocese of Dallas was sued in 1998. I knew someone connected to the suit and their involvement raised some questions for me. After much thought, I made a decision to come back to the Church and support the Church during this difficult time. My ultimate reason was this- we ask the Church to be there for us in our time of need so many times; in turn we should be there for the Church in her time of need. That's what people who love each other do. So I came back.
It wasn't an immediate, overnight coming home. I started going to Mass more frequently and after a couple of years I was attending Mass regularly. I slowly became more active in my parish and in turn, my faith life grew too. I also went to confession again- the first time in 12 years- to confess the same thing that had led me to leave the Church before. This time I had a much different experience (thank you Fr. Alphonse) and for the first time felt truly forgiven for what I had done.
I can honestly say that if I had to go back and do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing. To change any part would be to change the path of Faith that I am on and that's just not right. Before all this, I was a good Catholic, but it was merely lip service or rote for me. I did it because I didn't know another way. The path that I'm on now is different because this time I've chosen to be on this path and make it part of my life instead of just going through the motions. I'm not saying it's an easy path. There's as much struggle, slip-ups, questioning and silent moments as there is joy, peace, grace and devotion.
In the end, I've learned that no path is straight or perfect and that every path, no matter how many twists and turns we take on it, has the possibility to lead us home again.
For those of you interested in coming home to the Catholic Church, here's a good place to start.
Monday, December 12, 2011
The Strength of Mary
Last month I had a brief conversation about my confirmation saint with a friend explaining why I picked the one I did. Since then, I've thought a great deal about the saint I rejected, the Blessed Virgin Mary, instead of the one I picked. Mainly I've thought about how I rejected the choice of Mary for all the wrong reasons and how my rejection showed just how little I understood about Mary and the amazingly strong woman she was and the strong example of faith that she still is today.
When I was confirmed in 8th grade, I picked Catherine of Siena for my confirmation saint after many weeks of searching for just the right saint. I picked her because she was smart and she advised Church leaders. When I found her, she was the first female saint who embodied everything I thought a strong female should be at that time in my life. Even after I picked Catherine, the overwhelming choice everyone still kept suggesting to me again and again was the Blessed Virgin Mary. I wasn't interested in having Mary has my confirmation saint. At that time I saw Mary as an average mother and a wife. Yes, I knew she was Jesus's mother and that was important, but overall, I saw her as nothing special and certainly not a strong female role model- or any type of role model for that matter. To be honest, I thought Mary was rather boring. Over 20 years later, I now know how wrong I was in my 13 year-old assessment of Mary.
Mary is one of the strongest examples of faith that we have for one simple reason- she said "yes". When the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and shared God's plan for her with Mary, she didn't hesitate, she didn't hem and haw or try to bargain with God or the angel. She simply said "yes" and gave her life to something far greater than herself- God's plan. Now that I understand so much more the strength of Mary I am absolutely in awe over her answer and her immediate ability to give it. That is an example of strength that I will probably never be able to achieve in my life. And one that I greatly underestimated and misunderstood in my youth.
If I had it all to do over again, I'd probably still pick Cathrine of Siena. We seem to fit so well together for many reasons. What I would change is that I'd also pick Mary too. Together they are the yin and the yang of a strong woman of faith for me. Strong in mind and strong in heart. Annette Catherine Maria Hunt. I like the sound of that and all that it implies.
When I was confirmed in 8th grade, I picked Catherine of Siena for my confirmation saint after many weeks of searching for just the right saint. I picked her because she was smart and she advised Church leaders. When I found her, she was the first female saint who embodied everything I thought a strong female should be at that time in my life. Even after I picked Catherine, the overwhelming choice everyone still kept suggesting to me again and again was the Blessed Virgin Mary. I wasn't interested in having Mary has my confirmation saint. At that time I saw Mary as an average mother and a wife. Yes, I knew she was Jesus's mother and that was important, but overall, I saw her as nothing special and certainly not a strong female role model- or any type of role model for that matter. To be honest, I thought Mary was rather boring. Over 20 years later, I now know how wrong I was in my 13 year-old assessment of Mary.
Mary is one of the strongest examples of faith that we have for one simple reason- she said "yes". When the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and shared God's plan for her with Mary, she didn't hesitate, she didn't hem and haw or try to bargain with God or the angel. She simply said "yes" and gave her life to something far greater than herself- God's plan. Now that I understand so much more the strength of Mary I am absolutely in awe over her answer and her immediate ability to give it. That is an example of strength that I will probably never be able to achieve in my life. And one that I greatly underestimated and misunderstood in my youth.
If I had it all to do over again, I'd probably still pick Cathrine of Siena. We seem to fit so well together for many reasons. What I would change is that I'd also pick Mary too. Together they are the yin and the yang of a strong woman of faith for me. Strong in mind and strong in heart. Annette Catherine Maria Hunt. I like the sound of that and all that it implies.
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