Three years ago, the "Catholics Come Home" campaign was started to encourage lapsed Catholics to return to the Church. There are as many reasons for someone to leave or lapse in their faith as there are reasons to come back. This is my story.
In my late 20's and early 30's I quit going to Mass regularly for about four or five years. I had done something very wrong and when I went to confession for it immediately, the priest I went to yelled at me. I'm not exaggerating. He scared the daylights out of me and made me feel even worse about what I had done. From that point on I quit going to Mass regularly because I didn't think I deserved God's grace, forgiveness or love. I didn't think that I deserved to be at Mass at all. Sure, I'd show up at Christmas or Easter, but that was it. Surprisingly, it took an event that caused many people to leave the Church to get me to come back.
I came back to the Church when the Diocese of Dallas was sued in 1998. I knew someone connected to the suit and their involvement raised some questions for me. After much thought, I made a decision to come back to the Church and support the Church during this difficult time. My ultimate reason was this- we ask the Church to be there for us in our time of need so many times; in turn we should be there for the Church in her time of need. That's what people who love each other do. So I came back.
It wasn't an immediate, overnight coming home. I started going to Mass more frequently and after a couple of years I was attending Mass regularly. I slowly became more active in my parish and in turn, my faith life grew too. I also went to confession again- the first time in 12 years- to confess the same thing that had led me to leave the Church before. This time I had a much different experience (thank you Fr. Alphonse) and for the first time felt truly forgiven for what I had done.
I can honestly say that if I had to go back and do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing. To change any part would be to change the path of Faith that I am on and that's just not right. Before all this, I was a good Catholic, but it was merely lip service or rote for me. I did it because I didn't know another way. The path that I'm on now is different because this time I've chosen to be on this path and make it part of my life instead of just going through the motions. I'm not saying it's an easy path. There's as much struggle, slip-ups, questioning and silent moments as there is joy, peace, grace and devotion.
In the end, I've learned that no path is straight or perfect and that every path, no matter how many twists and turns we take on it, has the possibility to lead us home again.
For those of you interested in coming home to the Catholic Church, here's a good place to start.
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