When I Have Kids

I've gone to a couple of talks on the new Roman Missal recently, and during each talk I realized something.  When it came to CCD classes, I was taught very little about the Mass or the Catholic faith.  Most of my CCD class experience was in the mid/late 70's and early/mid 80's when the happy, clappy, hippie Jesus, "God Loves You" lessons took over.  After a couple of years of this I started complaining to my mother that we weren't learning anything new in CCD class each year.  Despite my protests, my mother, like a good Catholic mother, kept sending me to CCD class until I wore her down in high school.  As I thought about this and how my early Catholic education was spotty, at best, I started to think about how I would handle things differently with my kids.

Yes,  I know that at this point those of you with kids are snickering internally, or even openly, and thinking, "just wait until you actually have kids of your own".  Bring it on, because honestly, I know that you're right.  The best laid plans go up in smoke with the first kid you have.  Regardless, I declare that as a parent, there are some major points I strongly want to adhere to with my kids.  My list of "when I have kids" is as follows:

• Make sure my kid knows I've got their back. 
• Listen and investigate when my kid complains they're not learning anything.  
• If my kid signs up for a sport, they have to finish the season.  They don't have to play again after the season's over, but they do have to finish the season.   Same thing goes for other activities.
• Dramatic phrases like "it's like you stabbed a knife in my heart" belong in a bad melodrama.  Or a soap opera.
• Teach them a reverence for the Mass, the Catholic faith, the Eucharist and Mary.  Just ask my mother about the Virgin Mary joke I learned in 8th grade. 'Nuff said.
• I will never give them a book to explain the big changes in life or leave them to figure things out on their own.
• Sometimes, spending time with your kids is more important than how clean your house is.
• Encourage their interests.  Unless of course fire is involved. 
• It's ok to cry sometimes.  In fact, it's probably a good thing.
• Heal, nurture, defend, help or support first.  Then have the hard talk.  And always try to hold your anger in check.

And the most important lesson of all- when my kids are adults, it's their life, not mine.  As long as they're not into behavior that will ruin their lives (ie drugs, illegal activities, etc...) I need to step back and let them live their lives for themselves, not me.