Recently I read John Eldredge's book "Wild at Heart" which puts forth the premise that the majority of church worship and activities don't appeal to men. Eldredge's theory is that churches today offer activities and a view of what it means to be faithful that are more inherent and natural to women than men, and because of this, men find their faith experience lacking and out of touch with who they are as men.
I read this book for a book club, and the discussions it provoked lasted over three days. I've been in book club for five years now, and no other book has generated this response. I heard from guys who said the book was passed around their fraternity because it resonated with guys in both their personal and Faith lives. I heard guys I'd known for years, strong men whom I respect, talk about hearing from an early age "don't do this, don't do that" and feeling like what they did inherently as men was wrong. Then, when they go to church they feel like they hear a similar message that tells them there is only one way for them to worship or practice their faith. And it's usually a way that appeals more to women than men. Look at most church bulletins today and what do you see? Bible groups, adult Sunday school classes, prayer groups. A lot of groups for sitting around and talking or sharing. And we all know how much men just love to sit around and share with each other. But seriously, where are the activities or groups that appeal to men and how they contribute or express themselves best? In most churches, they are far and few between.
We need both masculine and feminine expressions of faith in our churches and the world today. Just as God created man and woman to be complimentary to each other, so their different ways of demonstrating Faith are complimentary to each other too. Yes, there are guys who are comfortable in expressing their Faith through prayer or meditation and taking part in male faith discussion groups at church. But many more need something else. They need volunteer projects or other non-verbal or action-oriented ways to express their Faith. Think back to the message on Pentecost Sunday. We each contribute something to the Faith and in our own ways. So why should a man be encouraged to contribute to the Faith in ways that are familiar and natural to a woman and not to a man? He shouldn't. Men should be encouraged to find ways to express their Faith that matches who they are as men. And men are wild. They take risk, they fight, they protect, they are warriors. So we should encourage them to be warriors for Christ instead of telling them to sit in the corner and pray as if that's the only acceptable way to express their Faith.
* Footnote- In researching all of this online for the last 2 weeks I came across something that summarizes the premise of "Wild at Heart" and how the majority of men feel about churches today very well. I'll tell you upfront that I don't agree with some of his ideas on how egalitarian a church should be, but the basic ideas expressed do match with what I've read and heard from men in the last two weeks:
http://www.drurywriting.com/keith/9male.htm
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