Mad About the Man, Part 2

I recently wrote a post about Don Draper, the character from Mad Men.  And one of the comments on that post posed the question of whether or not Don's search is for the truth or something else.  Now that the latest season of Mad Men is over, I'm ready to address that question.

In my opinion, Don's search is not about the truth.  I think he's trying to find a way to like or accept the version of himself that he's created.  All because he wants so much to be anyone but his real self, Dick Whitman.  And there's the irony in Don's search.  He wants to distance himself so much from Dick Whitman when his only peace will come in accepting that self and its role or part in who he is in life.  And Don is willing to go to great lengths to distance himself from Dick Whitman.

Think about the lucrative account he asked Pete to ditch because of the DoD background check that came with it.  Had the background check continued Don would have been found out and exposed to the whole world.  Worse in his mind though, he would have had to go back to living his life as Dick Whitman.  Don feared that outcome so much that he put the finances of the agency in jeopardy by forcing the account out of the agency.  An account that would have off-set the loss of Lucky Strike, kept the agency afloat and allowed several employees to keep their jobs.

And then there's Dr. Fay, one of three characters on the show who know who Don really is and what he's done.  When Dr. Fay found out Don's secret it was different for him in two ways:  1) he told her about it and 2) she accepted it and supported him.  And in accepting Don and his secret, she accepted him as Dick Whitman, something no one else in Don's carefully created world had ever done before.  This scared the daylights out of Don and sent him into the arms of his sweet, but naive secretary Megan, whom he now plans to marry.

Perhaps Dr. Fay would have fared better had she stumbled on Don's secret and reacted like Don's ex-wife Betty or account exec Pete.  Both rejected Don initially when they found out his secret and Pete even tried to profit from it.  For Don, that rejection was natural and almost a rejection of Dick Whitman too.  Ironically, both Betty and Pete have now kept and supported Don in his secret and that seems to hold more weight with him than Dr. Fay's acceptance of it.

So now Don is getting re-married and trying to further the "myth" of Don Draper rather than deal with the reality of himself, ie Dick Whitman.  He's looking for a self that's there all along, if only he would accept it.  It's all an invention of his own mind and the greatest piece of creative he ever sold the world.

Right Where We Left Off

One of the greatest joys in my life is seeing old friends.  And for me, the greatest thing about seeing old friends is that immediate way that no matter how much time has passed, we pick right back up where we left off.  And I love seeing it with other people and their friends or colleagues too.  There's just something magical about people who truly enjoy each other's company and have that special bond.

I'm very blessed to have several friends in my life that no matter how much time has gone past, when we see each other, we pick right back up again.  We have our own patterns of conversations, ways of relating to each other and all those old rhythms kick in without missing a beat.  Some of these friends I've known for over 10 or 15 years, like Beth and Pete, and some I've know for only a few years.  The amount of time we've known each other doesn't matter, just like it doesn't matter how long it's been since we've seen each other.  The joy and comfort I have with each of them is still the same and I love it every time I get to experience those friendships in my life.

I also enjoy seeing old friends together and watching how easily they relate to each other and hearing their stories.  It's inspiring and heart-warming to see people interact so effortlessly with each other.  You can't help but feel joy for them and even get a sense of family from them.  One of my favorite places to see this is in the movies.  I love directors who use the same actors over and over again or actors who work together as much as possible.  Watching people who truly enjoy each other's company makes the movie that much more enjoyable to me.  They have a special way of working and relating to each other that strangers just can't do- no matter how skilled an actor they are.

So here's to all the old friends whom I haven't seen in a while.  I can't wait to see you again and pick up...right where we left off.

The Hero(ine) Takes a Fall

I used to love the Shopaholic books.  Big shock, right?  I have the full series, down to the latest one, MiniShopaholic.  Notice that I wrote used to though.  Because I don't love the books any more.  Maybe it was the 100+ days without shopping.  Maybe it's just about seeing the world differently now.  But regardless of the reason, I can't stand the main character, Rebecca Brandon nee Bloomwood now.

For those of you not familiar with the series or the awful movie based on the books, here's the lowdown.  Rebecca is a young British woman with a fondness for labels.  In each book she seems to get herself in some sort of peril due to her shopping habits or love of drama, and by the end of the book everything is sorted out and everyone's happy again.  It's not rocket science, and quite honestly, I need a little "mind candy" every once in a while when I read.  I don't expect to unlock the secrets of the universe when I read these books, but it would be nice if the main character had some redeeming qualities.  And now, I'm looking for Rebecca's.

How did I miss how vapid, shallow, materialistic and self-involved this girl is in the previous books?  And delusional?  Why did I once find this charming and funny and entertaining?  Right now, in this book alone, she's spent more time worrying about her outfit and the catering for her daughter's "Russian/Japanese fusion" themed christening than what the christening actually means.  And she refuses to see that she's raising a spoiled, willful child whose favorite word is "mine".  My next biggest pet peeve is how incredibly self-involved she is.  Yes, the book is told from her point of view, but come on.  She's making friends with her husband's assistant so she can get a gym installed in her house instead of the wine cellar her husband wants to put in.  Because heaven forbid, she should use one of the eight bedrooms in the new house for a gym.  In case you're wondering about the eight bedrooms, one is for clothes, one is for shoes and one is for make-up.  Then one for her and her husband, one for the daughter and one as a guest bedroom.  The other two bedrooms?  She's actually thinking of having more kids.  For what, more little dolls to dress up as extensions of herself?

I do plan to finish the book.  I did pay for it after all.  But when I'm done, that's it.  I'm checked out of this series for good.  So much so that I'm thinking of taking all my Shopaholic books to Half Price Books and selling them.  There's no place for them in my life anymore.

Mad About the Man

AMC's "Mad Men" is populated with a cast of flawed characters.  Roger, Pete, Peggy, even "always in control" Joan.  Their leader, and the most flawed of all, is Don Draper.  And ironically, with all his flaws, Don is the one that capture's viewers imagination the most.  So how did one of the most flawed characters on TV become one of most popular?

Consider the idea that we like Don BECAUSE he is flawed.  From the outside he looks perfect (ladies, back me up here) and perfectly in control of his world.  But inside, it's a different story.  And how many of us feel like that every day?  That the image we present in public is a front to hide the flaws underneath.  It can be comforting at times to see behind the mask and realize that the rest of the world is equally flawed too.  And in that moment, we don't feel so alone in our flaws or in the world.  We connect with our humanity and the humanity of those around us.  And in accepting others in their flaws, we learn to accept ourselves too.

Ironically, Don doesn't seem to accept himself.  In more than one episode we've had the opportunity to see his longing to figure himself out and find some sort of peace in the world.  Maybe we hope to find a peace in our own lives if we follow Don on his journey or just find solace in walking with Don on his.

Then there's the whole Don Draper/Dick Whitman issue.  For the uninitiated, Don isn't really Don Draper.  His real name is Dick Whitman.  He became Don Draper when the real Don Draper passed away while the two served in the Korean War together.  Desperate to escape his poor and undesirable past, Dick re-invented himself as Don Draper.  And as Don Draper he manages to pull himself up from very humble beginnings and achieve great professional success and some personal success as a provider for his family.  And in America, rising up from humble beginnings is a story that always sells.  It gives the rest of us hope in achieving what we want or desire in life too.  This aspect of Don always reminds me of a Fitzgerald character gone bad.  Guy of poor or modest means makes his way in the world and rises above the means or manner into which he was born.  Just in a Fitzgerald novel his heroes usually rise by education or hard work, not by escaping their pasts and assuming another identity.

To wrap up, I think it's Don's flaws, his search for personal peace and acceptance and how far he's come in the world that make him so popular.  In liking Don we learn to like or accept ourselves, faults and all, we hope to learn from his own journey for inner peace and we learn that we can achieve so much more than what we come into the world with or as.