Those who study human behavior note that during economic downturns, our interest in monsters and horror stories increases as a way to relieve the everyday stress. Think of horror movies in the 20's, 30's and 80's along with the vampire implosion in pop culture over the last 3 or so years. One of the current shows riding this wave is Being Human, which tells the story of a ghost, a vampire and a werewolf living together and trying to "fit in" in the normal world. As I watch this show one thought comes to mind- these "monsters" are really no different than you and me trying to make our way and fit into the everyday world too.
Being Human has three main characters: Annie (the ghost), Mitchell (the vampire) and George (the werewolf) who share a house and try to live normal, quiet lives. Writers note- for purposes of this post I'm referencing the original BBC series, not the US version currently airing on the SyFy channel. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.... They each want to go to work, date and have a drink at the corner pub and live like humans, hence the title. But the nature of what they each are continually hinders them. How can a ghost live in the world when the ability for humans to see her comes and goes? How can a vampire live and work amongst humans without giving in to temptation? How can a werewolf date when he has to take off to the woods every full moon and with no explanation to his girlfriend? What I find intriguing about this premise is that Annie, Mitchell and George are no different than you and I. While we're not literally monsters, we each live with our internal monsters that hinder our ability to get along in the world.
Call it baggage, call it disfunction, call it nueroses- regardless of the label we each have a "monster" inside us that we think keeps us from being a "normal" human. And at times that monster keeps us from connecting with the world; just like the three roommates on Being Human. And just like Annie, Mitchell and George, it usually takes one of our own "kind" to see the monster in us. Alcoholics recognize another alcoholic or addict. Depressives recognize another depressive. You get the gist. Hopefully the others we see are a good or supportive influence on us and together we each help each other on the way. But like some of the other ghosts, vampires and werewolves that Annie, Mitchell and George run into this isn't always the case. That's when we should follow the lead of the Being Human monsters and send our fellow monsters in this world packing or cut ourselves off from them.
So what is your internal "monster"? And how do you live with it each day? The only thing I know is that for each of us the answer is different and we each have to find our own way to navigate the world as a "normal" human. We just have to hope that when we find other monsters like ourselves that they're as helpful and supportive to us as Annie, Mitchell and George are to each other.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Un-Fashionable Truth
Vain. Shallow. Materialistic. All words used to describe those who care about what they wear and how they look. But are they always fully deserved? Or have these folks figured out something that no one likes to admit to instead? The un-fashionable truth that what you wear speaks volumes about who you are as a person and what you think of yourself.
Back in high school I came to the honest realization that I would never been known for the looks I was born with. But what I lacked from nature could be compensated for by what I wore. Because style knows no age limit and can last you throughout your entire life. Simply put, looks may fade, but style is forever. And as I developed my style over the years I began to notice and study the style of others too. And I learned that what they wore could tell me a great deal about them and what they thought of themselves.
I learned from studying the style of others what socio-economic groups they either belonged in or wanted to belong in. I learned from women how comfortable or uncomfortable they were with their femininity and sexuality. I learned from those who wore the latest fads and styles who had low self-esteem and needed the latest thing to validate themselves. I could spot a newlywed by the changes in her wardrobe and overall look. And I could look at a group of people and tell you who fit in and who didn't, either by conscious or unconscious choice, simply by what they were wearing.
Clothes speak volumes about who we are as people and sometimes even who we want to be. And it's nothing to be ashamed of in life. Human beings are tribal by nature. No amount of technology can change that. And clothes are one way of aligning ourselves with a certain tribe. Clothes are also our way of communicating who we and how we feel to the outside world. Unlike the animals, we don't have fur or chameleon skin or other physical attributes to express ourselves with. So we rely on our clothes instead.
The danger in all of this, as in everything in life, comes when we cross the line and either starve ourselves or become gluttonous. Neither is good. Not allowing ourselves the basics in life can indicate that we don't think we're worthy of them and tell the world that we don't think much of ourselves. And too much in the closet can indicate a need to fill a void in other areas of our lives. (For those who know me well, yes, I realize the last statement was full on "pot, kettle, black".)
So the next time you get dressed in the morning and look in the mirror ask yourself this simple question- What do my clothes say about me? Do I like what they say? Or is it time it give myself a new style voice?
Back in high school I came to the honest realization that I would never been known for the looks I was born with. But what I lacked from nature could be compensated for by what I wore. Because style knows no age limit and can last you throughout your entire life. Simply put, looks may fade, but style is forever. And as I developed my style over the years I began to notice and study the style of others too. And I learned that what they wore could tell me a great deal about them and what they thought of themselves.
I learned from studying the style of others what socio-economic groups they either belonged in or wanted to belong in. I learned from women how comfortable or uncomfortable they were with their femininity and sexuality. I learned from those who wore the latest fads and styles who had low self-esteem and needed the latest thing to validate themselves. I could spot a newlywed by the changes in her wardrobe and overall look. And I could look at a group of people and tell you who fit in and who didn't, either by conscious or unconscious choice, simply by what they were wearing.
Clothes speak volumes about who we are as people and sometimes even who we want to be. And it's nothing to be ashamed of in life. Human beings are tribal by nature. No amount of technology can change that. And clothes are one way of aligning ourselves with a certain tribe. Clothes are also our way of communicating who we and how we feel to the outside world. Unlike the animals, we don't have fur or chameleon skin or other physical attributes to express ourselves with. So we rely on our clothes instead.
The danger in all of this, as in everything in life, comes when we cross the line and either starve ourselves or become gluttonous. Neither is good. Not allowing ourselves the basics in life can indicate that we don't think we're worthy of them and tell the world that we don't think much of ourselves. And too much in the closet can indicate a need to fill a void in other areas of our lives. (For those who know me well, yes, I realize the last statement was full on "pot, kettle, black".)
So the next time you get dressed in the morning and look in the mirror ask yourself this simple question- What do my clothes say about me? Do I like what they say? Or is it time it give myself a new style voice?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Going Gently into that Dark Night
If I'm a spiritual person my life should be pleasant, peaceful and fairly happy, right? What happens when we search, pray, look and listen and we don't hear or see anything to give us hope or peace or spiritual comfort? What happens when we talk to God and think he's left us altogether or isn't listening? We may be, in the words of St. John of the Cross, in the "dark night of the soul".
For the uninitiated, the "dark night of the soul" refers to those times in our lives when we talk to God, the universe, our higher power, etc... and feel like no one's listening or there for us. There's no comfort, no surety that we're being heard, no warm fuzzy feeling from connecting with that which we base our spiritual life on. We're adrift, lost and completely confused. It truly is "the dark before the dawn".
And as humans, we fight against that darkness for all we're worth. It's a frightening, confusing, scary place. There is no surety or comfort in it at all. Then there's the idea that if I'm living the "dark night of the soul", what did I do to get myself here? The answer is that you didn't "do" anything to get yourself here. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. It's just an uncomfortable place to be in right now.
So what do you do with this uncomfortable place that you find yourself in on your spiritual journey? GO WITH IT. Embrace it. Welcome it. And never lose faith or belief that after every dark night, there is a dawn. You just need to be patient and make it through the night.
For the uninitiated, the "dark night of the soul" refers to those times in our lives when we talk to God, the universe, our higher power, etc... and feel like no one's listening or there for us. There's no comfort, no surety that we're being heard, no warm fuzzy feeling from connecting with that which we base our spiritual life on. We're adrift, lost and completely confused. It truly is "the dark before the dawn".
And as humans, we fight against that darkness for all we're worth. It's a frightening, confusing, scary place. There is no surety or comfort in it at all. Then there's the idea that if I'm living the "dark night of the soul", what did I do to get myself here? The answer is that you didn't "do" anything to get yourself here. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. It's just an uncomfortable place to be in right now.
So what do you do with this uncomfortable place that you find yourself in on your spiritual journey? GO WITH IT. Embrace it. Welcome it. And never lose faith or belief that after every dark night, there is a dawn. You just need to be patient and make it through the night.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Some Things Never Change
Recently I read "A Christmas Carol" during the holidays. The commentary at the beginning of the edition I read focused a great deal on how Dickens used the story to illustrate the idea of there being no difference between "good poor" and "bad poor" and the unwillingness of those more fortunate to help others. As I read the commentary, I couldn't help but think things are still the same in modern society 167 years later.
At the time Dickens wrote "A Christmas Carol" the Industrial Revolution was well under way (or had just passed, my history recall isn't always so great) and many had lost their jobs or experienced financial hardship from it. The society at that time considered itself to be extremely advanced and cutting edge because of the industrial advances of the age. Now flash forward and consider where we are now. Even 10 years ago, did any of us image we'd be running our lives on mobile phones and so completely tied to technology by our phones and the likes of Facebook? Not to mention the impact that world-wide financial crises have had on our society the last couple of years. Interesting parallel with pre-Victorian England, isn't it?
Now consider the prevailing attitudes to the homeless and those who have had to severely downsize their lifestyles the last couple of years. Do we look on them universally with compassion? Or do we judge and pick and choose who deserves our sympathy and help in their hardships and who doesn't? It's a hard call, isn't it? I know I'm guilty of picking and choosing for a variety of reasons and prejudices.
Seems as though no matter how advanced we think we are, the problems of humanity never change. Or maybe we never learn from them. In the end, I wonder if the lesson from all of this is to never assume that living in an advanced society makes us better or immune to the problems of the past and to look within ourselves and decide how we can get past our own ideas and become the change that Dickens and those in our day and age would like to see in the world.
At the time Dickens wrote "A Christmas Carol" the Industrial Revolution was well under way (or had just passed, my history recall isn't always so great) and many had lost their jobs or experienced financial hardship from it. The society at that time considered itself to be extremely advanced and cutting edge because of the industrial advances of the age. Now flash forward and consider where we are now. Even 10 years ago, did any of us image we'd be running our lives on mobile phones and so completely tied to technology by our phones and the likes of Facebook? Not to mention the impact that world-wide financial crises have had on our society the last couple of years. Interesting parallel with pre-Victorian England, isn't it?
Now consider the prevailing attitudes to the homeless and those who have had to severely downsize their lifestyles the last couple of years. Do we look on them universally with compassion? Or do we judge and pick and choose who deserves our sympathy and help in their hardships and who doesn't? It's a hard call, isn't it? I know I'm guilty of picking and choosing for a variety of reasons and prejudices.
Seems as though no matter how advanced we think we are, the problems of humanity never change. Or maybe we never learn from them. In the end, I wonder if the lesson from all of this is to never assume that living in an advanced society makes us better or immune to the problems of the past and to look within ourselves and decide how we can get past our own ideas and become the change that Dickens and those in our day and age would like to see in the world.
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